Saat ini, hati nonik terluka.
Terluka begitu dalam.
tersayat dan teriris-iris parah.
it affects me my relationship deeply with others,
including with YOU.
I don't feel peace.
I don't feel joy.
I just feel numb.
I don't know how to forgive the ones who have hurted me much,
I was so angry at them,
and i throw fists right in front of Your face.
I think that You are a liar.
I know that You are not, but right now I am thinking that yes, You are.
You can't heal my family. I don't think You know how to do it, even tough deep deep down in my heart, You do know how to put together the broken pieces.
I don't see any ways open in front of my eyes.
I uttered a lot of harsh and rude words to a lot of people.
I even cursed You.
I really don't feel anything.
It's really a hard moment, when You knocked me down like this.
I can only kneel....
I can only kneel.
I don't know what else to do.
I don't know which way to go.
I don't know how to forgive my parents.
I don't know how long I should bear this resentment.
I don't know how You could heal my heart, which is already torn into pieces.
I just silently and obediently follow You.
I just remember that You are faithful....
Engkau berkata, bahwa barangsiapa percaya kepadaMu,
TIDAK AKAN DIPERMALUKAN.
Engkau layak untuk dipercaya, sekalipun saat ini aku tidak melihatnya demikian....
Dan Engkau mengerti apa yg terjadi, sekalipun tampaknya Engkau tidak mengerti.